Of sign boards and tales

Gates, like faces, tell tales.
Not long ago, they told us how gullible many people are in our neighbourhoods.
Interestingly, the tales are growing.
Morning walks provide you the time to enjoy the little guffaws of life.
Some months ago, you may recall, there was this huge wave of public-cum-private local advertising that took over the gates of our apartments and houses.
A bank, an automobile dealer and a tuition centre sponsored hundreds of metal plates which said NO PARKING and carried a generous bit of advertising ofthe sponsor.
In no time, other entrepreneurs followed.
In no time, there were no less than three boards on the gates.
And you wondered why these boards were hollering at you.
NO PARKING. In bold types.
NO PARKING. With a graphic design.
NO PARKING. In multicolour.
Many people who owned these gates didn’t complain. If three boards could keep away those pesky motorists from their doorstep, life would be beautiful.
Life wasn’t. But the sign boards took on different avatars.
Last week, in different colonies, on different gates, I sighted a new legend - SALESPEOPLE - DO NOT KNOCK ON DOOR.
Recall the little boards that were put up at the clubs of the Raj - Dogs now allowed.
Sales people can really get on your nerves. They have washing powder to be sold, targets to achieve and commissions to be made.
And so, they will even put your Great Dane to sleep just to get to your door bell and get their feet in your door. And most of them are so badly trained that they seldom realise that the hours after lunch aren’t the best of times to sell washing powder. Especially when the people taking a nap inside are senior citizens.
Since most of us have begun to detest sales people, we will certainly not mind our grocery store, our neighbourhood bank and our driving institute slapping another set of sign boards on our gates. SALES PEOPLE NOT ALLOWED.
(Wonder when a smart shop will come up with a line assimple as SALESPEOPLE, BUZZ OFF!)
I am looking ahead and wonder what else will be slapped on our gates. Perhaps, we will have to keep away those nosey rental brokers.
And then, we may want to remind visitors not to bring their cars inside. And if the new government makes a splash about rainwater harvesting and all the rules that go with it, we may have to say - RAIN WATER HARVESTING DONE HERE.
And if we want to make P. Chidambaram and his departments happy, we may want to say - HONEST PEOPLE STAY IN THESE FLATS. WE PAY TAXES.
And I wonder. Will there come a time when we will put up a sign board one the gate which says - IN-LAWS AND RELATIVES: FIX APPOINTMENT TO VISIT US.
Gates, like faces, tell tales.